Running Rants

perfectly-timed-sports-photos-19-e1282085100801_display_imageRunning is meant to be relaxing right?

It’s meant to be therapeutic, giving you a chance to unwind and clear your mind and get away from all the stresses of life.

And for me it does – I find running a great way to clear my mind and to think things through.

But…

I am glad I find it so relaxing as there are so many things out there that can infuriate you and drive you into a rage during your run!

Here are just a few things from my very long rant list of things that piss me off while I am running:

Dog walkers

Yes I know they have the divine right to walk all over the path and let their dogs run everywhere and trip you up, but all I want is a few clear inches on the path where I can run past!

Dog poo

Why is it always right where you want to put your foot?

And always when you have a great stride pattern going that it disrupts you!

Pedestrians with no spatial awareness

I know I am running quicker than the speed of light but surely you can hear me coming and can not weave all over the footpath like a drunken idiot!

Uneven paving stones

Trippd-on-Broken-Pavement1

Does the Council plant uneven paving stones on your favourite running routes on purpose?!

I must fall over one one day so I can respond to one of those annoying ‘Have you had a trip or fall that wasn’t your fault’ type adverts and cash in on some compensation.

Traffic lights being against you

With the technology used in traffic management these days surely something similar could be employed to record when a runner is coming up to cross the road and adjust the lights accordingly so the runner can keep going?!

Not too much to ask surely?

Cars not letting you pass on zebra crossings

Is it me or do cars seem to ignore runners approaching zebra crossings?

I don’t have the same problems when walking – car drivers obviously just have it in for runners!

Needing a pee

We’re all familiar with that dreaded tightness in your bladder when you know you are going to have to make a toilet break before the end of your run.

Nobody wants to do a Paula Radcliffe, so there goes the quick mile split out of the window while you figure out somewhere to stop!

paula-radcliffe

So much for the idea that your kidneys close down while you are running, mine seem to go into pee producing overdrive!

And let’s not even go into the territory of needing a number 2 while out running as that’s just too grim to talk about!

Trainers being too tight/loose

How come trainers don’t just magically adjust themselves to your feet for the perfect fit?

A bit like Marty McFly’s trainers in Back to The future?

20131018034814-Marty-Shoes-Cruising

Despite making sure they are comfortable before you set off they always seem to feel too tight or too lose and need adjusting by the time I get to the end of the road.

Then there laces – please stay done up!

I seem to go through periods where my laces are fine run after run after run, then I will have two or three consecutive runs where they will come undone every few hundred metres!

After a long run the effort involved in crouching down to retie your laces is so painful!

Getting lost

w_600_135980_lost-sign

‘It’s definitely this way’

‘I am sure I will know where I am at the end of this road’

‘No I don’t need to ask directions, I am a man, I can find my way on my own’

‘SHIT I have already run far too many miles and I am so many miles away from home!’

We have all had these kind of thoughts, haven’t we?

No?

Just me then who has trouble navigating while running!

Having to take a diversion

Nothing is more frustrating then spending ages planning out a perfect route that avoids dog walkers, pavements with uneven paths, traffic lights and crossings, and is a well known route that means you definitely wont get lost, only for your path to be blocked.

This seems to happen to me fairly regularly – paths blocked by flooding, roads cordoned off by police, traffic works shutting roads.

All really annoying!

Cyclists almost knocking you down

Sorry Mr man on a bike, I forgot that as you are faster than me that gives you the right to whizz past within an inch of me at a million miles an hour and scare me half to death!

Yes, I will shout my anger at you! You should be more considerate!

And, yes, I know running is bad for the long term health of my joints, but I hope your reproductive capabilities are stunted by all your cycyling around!

(For the record I do enjoy cycling as well and do not have ‘beef’ with all cyclists – just the rude ones that almost knock you down!)

People looking at you like your a freak

Yes, I am running at 8am in the morning, and, yes, I know I look really rough, but that is because I have just ran 17 miles, get over it!

I am not a four headed man or a freaky cross between a caterpillar and a giraffe, I am just a runner out training.

If you got out a bit more you would notice there are actually a lot of us about!

Changeable weather

Oh British weather!

I know not to expect hours of radiant sunshine or endless blue skies, but please can you not drastically change from the weather I expected when I started out on my run?

Being abused by motorists

ed6ee6374adba117888f27cd4d16

Dear drivers, just because you drive a car since when does that give you the right to intimidate others who happen to be moving slower than you?

I find it hilarious that you drive incredibly close to me on purpose when there isn’t a marked footpath by the side of the road, but what’s even funnier is when you shout something really loudly just as you are about to pass me so I almost wet my pants!

Thanks, I really enjoy that!

Also throwing things at me from your car window is not cool!

Unexpected hills

Ever been out for a nice gentle run on a new route when all of a sudden Mount Everest looms into view?!

I am all for new challenges and pushing yourself, but unexpected hills can be a real drain when they come out of nowhere.

Especially when you really don’t have the energy for the climb!

I hate to think of the perils of living in hillier parts of the country like the Lake District where route planning must be an essential art form of negating any tightly packed contour lines.

Stone in shoe

The pesky little blighters that feel like the size of a house stabbing into the bottom of your foot, Ouch!

Under the heel I find the worse, but what really bugs me is when you manage to get one inside your sock!

How did it get there? The mind boggles!

Sweat in the eyes

Surely the worst running injury known to man?

The biggest problem of running in the summer, if anyone has any ideas for inventing a device to filter sweat from your head and face away from the eyes I would love to hear them!

Sore nipples

bleeding_nipples

I find this a very uneasy pain for a man to experience.

Why are my nipples necessary and why if I do have to have them do they have to be so susceptible to being rubbed raw while running!?

Signing Off

I better stop there before I work myself into a rage that requires a lengthy counseling session!

What gets you frustrated when you are out running?

Anything different to the above that really irritates you?

We would love to hear your top running rants!